Boundaries

When Should You Take No For an Answer?

Posted by on Jul 23, 2019 | 0 comments

This post first appeared on Forbes.com The consequences of overwork are evident in my coaching practice. In startups, established companies and nonprofits I see teams in a constant state of fire-fighting and leaders who are unable to prioritize, where the quality of work is suffering, individuals are experiencing stress and anxiety, and valuable people are burning out. In a previous post, I wrote about building the “no” muscle—learning to say “no” to certain activities in service of being able to say “yes” to the right things. But what if you say “no” and your colleagues won’t...

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Overworked? A People Pleaser’s Guide to Saying No

Posted by on Apr 20, 2019 | 0 comments

This post first appeared on Forbes.com “I have more work than I can possibly do, my team is stretched to the breaking point, and the requests keep coming,” said an executive coaching client in a large tech company, her eyes welling with tears. She was not the only one to whom I gave a tissue this week. Overwork is widespread in the U.S., and research indicates that it is bad for people’s health and productivity.  An excessive workload can be caused by many different factors—a demanding organizational culture, poor planning, failure to delegate or a lack of adequate...

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You can’t tell by looking at me …….

Posted by on Jan 28, 2019 | 0 comments

You can’t tell by looking at me …….

We all wear masks. They consist of the parts of ourselves that we gladly show to others – qualities, attributes, feelings, and experiences that we choose to reveal in a given setting. We also have parts of ourselves that we don’t talk about or show. Maybe because nobody asks. Or maybe because we don’t want others to see or know those parts – the parts of us that are vulnerable, sad, angry, broken, tender, imperfect, or just private. Maybe we don’t feel safe. Some of us are more comfortable showing vulnerability, some less. There is nothing inherently wrong with having a...

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Full Stop — What a Traffic Ticket Taught Me About Being at Rest

Posted by on May 23, 2013 | 1 comment

A while back I got a ticket in the mail for failing to stop at a red light. This New England girl had been caught on camera doing a “California rolling stop.” I was mortified, and upset at the steep fine. My husband was remarkably cool. Apparently he had noticed my tendency to roll through intersections and had been worried about it. “I’m just glad nobody got hurt,” he said.  That made me feel even worse. You’d think I would learn my lesson, but I continued to tap-and-roll through intersections more often than not. So this week I recruited my children to help me “brake” my habit. They were...

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Going Pro

Posted by on Jul 13, 2012 | 0 comments

If you read my last blog, you know that I am battling resistance. Today it has taken on many forms, from errands to housework to the season finale of “Smash.” And now it has gelled into writer’s block. I have several ideas,  each of which has some merit, but none of which takes me past the opening sentence. I type. Backspace. Type. Backspace. My stomach is all bunched up, and I feel trapped. But at least I am in the chair, fingers on keys, right? According to Steven Pressfield, that is what it is to be a pro. The professional goes to work every day, whether or not she feels...

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The Stop Doing List

Posted by on Dec 9, 2010 | 0 comments

If you’re like me, you have a To Do list — whether the high-tech version on your smart phone or the low-tech kind written on a Post-It, or perhaps just maintained in your head. But do you have a Stop Doing list? Maybe you should. I got this idea from Jim Collin’s illuminating book, Good to Great — Why Some Companies Make the Leap and Others Don’t. Part of what makes good companies great is not being overly diversified. The great companies he studied pursued a single “Hedgehog Concept” (being the best at one thing rather than being an also-ran at a...

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