Life on the Other Side of the Finish Line
Last weekend I completed the Bike MS Waves to Wine ride — the longest cycling event of my life — and I raised nearly $4000 for the MS Society. I feel strong and happy and proud. (I hesitate to admit that I feel proud, because my good New England upbringing taught me not to get “too big for my britches,” but I do. Yay, me!) But what comes next, now that I have reached my goal? As I’ve been thinking, talking, and writing about effective goal setting, I haven’t addressed the crucial followup question: what’s next? When you are working toward a goal,...
Read MoreThe Secret of Goal Setting: Values Alignment
One of the first things we do in a coaching relationship — whether it is career coaching, leadership development, team coaching, or personal life coaching — is set goals. Like most coaches, I encourage my clients to (1) be very specific about their goals, (2) make them measurable (how will you know if you have succeeded?), (3) set a time limit, (4) identify what actions will move them toward their goal, and (5) relate their goal to their values, so that it inspires and motivates them. It is the last element that is the true engine of achieving your goal. As an example, I will...
Read MoreAsk the Right Questions
Sometimes, asking “why?” can be a trap. A typical individual coaching client comes to me wanting to do something (it could be anything – find a job, write a book, earn a promotion, get in shape) and looking for my help. Very likely by the time he comes to me, he has been thinking about it for a while. He probably feels stuck and unable to close the gap between what is and what he wants it to be. The temptation for some of these clients is to delve into explaining to me why they have not done what they say they want. Reasons range from the practical (it’s hard, they don’t have...
Read MoreReality Check Your Resolution
Whether or not you are a resolution-maker, the New Year invites you to take stock of the distance traveled over the last twelve months and set goals for the coming year. This year, many of us look back on 2010 and see a lot of hardships – whether loss of job, financial stress, health problems, or loss of loved ones. Most of these have hit pretty close to home for me over the last twelve months. And I, for one, am hoping for a better 2011. But while I am hopeful and positive, I am also aware of the many hurdles to overcome, both personally and globally. Cultivating a perspective that is at...
Read MoreTapping Into Your Inner Board of Directors
Have you ever been stuck at a decision point, paralyzed by inner conflict, pulled in multiple directions by different needs, desires, and fears? Instead of trying to choose among these warring factions of yourself, perhaps it is time to get them to work together. Cast them as your internal Board of Directors, give each a seat at the table, and work out a deal so that you can move forward. Here’s one way to do it:* Step 1: Identify the topic or decision in neutral terms. Imagine (or draw) a boardroom table with the topic in the middle. Step 2: Identify between four and six internal...
Read MoreBreaking Up (With Your Job) is Hard To Do
I have a client who is completely fed up with her job. She is spread too thin, underpaid, under-resourced, isolated, and dissatisfied. She has tried hard to make the job work better, but it has now become clear that the fundamental problems with this job are not going to change. She sees that it will never provide what she wants and needs from her job: financial reward, respect, teamwork, meaning, and balance. If this job were a boyfriend, her friends would all be urging her to dump him and find someone more worthy. And yet she is finding it difficult to leave – in part because she feels...
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