Walking My Talk
A good friend of mine recently asked me if being a coach makes me feel like I have to do everything perfectly. I told her that I don’t feel that way, but that I do feel an obligation to “walk my talk.” But what does that really mean? For me, it means that I need to do what I ask of my clients: * Dream big * Set specific goals * Be accountable * Take action * Question assumptions * Stretch * Risk failure * Celebrate success * Care for myself * Be grateful The list goes on …. geez, that’s a lot! And of course there are many times when I am not walking my talk. Maybe I know what I...
Read MoreCoaching & Therapy
People often ask me what is the difference between coaching and therapy. Much is made of the differences, usually by one side seeking to disparage the other side. Therapists claim that coaching – which is three decades old and largely unregulated – lacks the rigor and substance of psychotherapy and is little better than snake oil. Meanwhile, coaches argue that therapy is backward-looking, inefficient, and pathologizing. But these self-serving critiques do neither side justice. Both disciplines have their place in helping people to lead happier, more fulfilling lives. Choosing one (or...
Read MoreThis is Only a Test
Today I spoke with Gretchen Rubin, best-selling author of The Happiness Project, about her book, happiness, and coaching. Our conversation touched on the importance of taking action. Gretchen’s project was all about test-driving a wide range happiness theories and practices to see if DOING things made her FEEL HAPPIER. In pursuit of happiness, she read a lot (I mean a lot), and thought a lot, but the focus was on doing (a lot!) In my coaching practice, I expect my clients to get into action right away. Sometimes clients are caught off guard by the need to take action before they...
Read MoreWhat Are The Hard Questions?
On my home page I refer to “hard questions,” but what do I mean? Hard questions are the ones that we politely avoid most of the time. They are the questions that, when asked, upset the apple cart, demand that we change. They challenge assumptions, require honesty, make us sit up straighter, and bring us together. For example: You are leading a meeting at which you are discussing implementation of Plan A. There is no energy or enthusiasm in the room as you assign action items. Suppose, instead of forging you asked, “What are we really trying to achieve and will Plan A get...
Read MoreNow, More Than Ever
Times are tough – we see it all around us. The economy is faltering, people are losing their jobs and their homes in numbers that make even those who have a relatively secure job feel nervous. So maybe your first response to coaching is, “That sounds nice, but I can’t afford inspiration and fulfillment right now – I’m lucky to have a job and I just want to keep it.” To which I reply, “Yup, and coaching will help you do just that.” More than ever, you need to understand your mission, perform at your best, and be recognized for your contributions in the workplace. In...
Read MoreThe Not-Knowing
Do you sometimes feel like all aptitude and no direction? That was me for a long time. I had confidence in my capacity to do something, but could never figure out what that something was. I was surrounded by people who were driven to pursue one path or another – family members and friends and boyfriends who were passionately pursuing a dream while I slogged along in corporate law – and it felt to me like I was just missing that passion gene. Instead, I felt stuck. I would have given anything to know what I should do. Does this sound like you? Are you capable, maybe even ambitious, but...
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