No More Mister Nice Guy?
Nice guys earn significantly lower salaries than less agreeable men (though still more than women, regardless of their agreeableness) reports a new study by Timothy A. Judge, Beth A. Livingston, and Charlice Hurst in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Whether you are surprised or unsurprised, dismayed or vindicated, you may be wondering whether this information should lead you to try to change your workplace behavior or persona. Bottom line: if you want to get a raise, should you act like a jerk? No. Instead, the authors of the study recommend that we adopt a “flexible...
Read MoreReality Check Your Resolution
Whether or not you are a resolution-maker, the New Year invites you to take stock of the distance traveled over the last twelve months and set goals for the coming year. This year, many of us look back on 2010 and see a lot of hardships – whether loss of job, financial stress, health problems, or loss of loved ones. Most of these have hit pretty close to home for me over the last twelve months. And I, for one, am hoping for a better 2011. But while I am hopeful and positive, I am also aware of the many hurdles to overcome, both personally and globally. Cultivating a perspective that is at...
Read MoreI’m a Triathlete (who’da thunk it? not me!)
Well, I did it! On Sunday I completed the Olympic distance Marin Triathlon. It was the culmination of weeks of training, and I felt great. I am still basking in the glow of accomplishment and I am already thinking about doing another triathlon and bettering my times. But I still find it amazing that I did it at all — I feel almost giddy about it. You see, I don’t think of myself as the kind of person who does triathlons. And yet, I did it. Beware thoughts and statements that begin “I’m not the kind of person who ….. ” They usually contain limiting beliefs...
Read MoreHappiness Beyond the Comfort Zone
In fifty-one days my husband Reece and I will be running, biking, and swimming the Marin Triathlon. There! I have set a specific, measurable, and actionable goal. Now that it is public, I am committed. So here’s a cool thing I have noticed: three weeks into my training, I already feel major benefits from having set a goal and begun to work for it. The first positive effect is that I enjoy sharing a goal with Reece. Although we are unable to train together, we give each other support and additional accountability, and we spur each other on. It is also fun to direct our shared energy...
Read MoreDrudgery Transformed
How can you stay motivated when you are overwhelmed by a To Do list as long as your arm? Or when everything feels like drudgery and you just can’t make yourself get started? One way I help my clients get into action is to connect them to the purpose underlying what they are doing. Tying one’s activities to a greater mission can transform them from chores into meaningful work. Think for a moment about an artist, a painter perhaps. From the most mundane point of view, her work could be described as menial labor: set up the easel, get out the paints, mix a color, dip the brush, make...
Read MoreFour Steps to Avoiding Terminal Vagueness
According to debtor’s anonymous, many people who repeatedly incur unsecured debt experience so-called “terminal vagueness” – a lack of awareness or monitoring of their finances. But you don’t have to be ready for a Twelve-Step program to be prone to this condition. Here are four steps to getting out of the terminal vagueness that besets those stuck in dissatisfaction. First, get clear about where you are now. Dissatisfaction can be diffuse and tricky to pin down, but if you divide your life into different areas (see the wheel of life assessments), you will be better able...
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