Get Your Gratitude On – For Its Own Sake
All over the country this week bloggers are holding forth on the subject of gratitude. And I’m all for gratitude, not just in November, but daily, maybe even hourly. But too often gratitude is touted not as an end in itself but because it will help you achieve some goal: being grateful will make you happier, or improve your relationship, or make you a better manager. Practicing gratitude does have some great benefits, but the heart of gratitude is not as a means to an end. Gratitude is not about you. Life coaches exhort their clients to keep a gratitude journal to help them feel happier and...
Read MoreDetails, Details…..Confession of a Former Associate
It’s really hard to excel at something that you don’t like. At my first law job after my clerkship, I was one of forty lawyers to join a prestigious 450-lawyer firm. As our training ground, we newbies were distributed throughout the firm and assigned to help more senior associates on big cases and deals. My first rotation was Securities, where we most often represented the underwriters of huge equity or debt offerings. I tagged along with the senior associate, listened on conference calls, and helped with the massive papering of a deal. There were underwriting agreements and SEC...
Read MoreIt’s Not All About You
California may very well be the cradle of the “spiritual but not religious” movement, if you can call it a movement. Many of us are are more inclined to spend our weekends hiking or mountain-biking than in a church, synagogue or mosque. And we are not alone. The Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life recently reported that the fastest growing group among Americans — a whopping one in five adults and one third of those under age 30 — is those who report no religious affiliation. “I attend the church of the blue dome,” said a friend of a friend recently....
Read MoreMy New Hero
This post first appeared on the Perspectives series on KQED. You can listen here. Rushing to change into my street clothes after a morning swim, I heard “can I help you with that?” I looked up to see a young woman reaching out to help an older lady pull her shirt over her shoulders. As she gently tugged it down, the older woman adjusted it and nodded an awkward “Thank you,”. Ashamed that I hadn’t even noticed her difficulty, I watched her closely in case she needed more help. And what I saw astonished me. Slowly, so slowly, she sat, lifted a foot with great effort, and worked her sock up...
Read MoreFrom The Obvious Files: Get More Sleep (+ Some Tips)
This morning, I watched my beloved and bleary-eyed husband pour orange juice into his empty bowl. When the kids and I started howling with laughter, he realized what he was doing, grinned, and spooned his oatmeal into his glass and sat down to eat, slurping juice from the bowl and eating oatmeal with a fork from the glass (I love this man). Not usually absent-minded, he was in a fog this morning because he had been up with our wakeful daughter from about 2:30-4:00 a.m. last night (yet another reason for parenthetical above). He’s also been pulling late nights and then getting up early,...
Read MoreWhat Do You Want?
One of the first questions I ask new and prospective clients is “what do you want?” More often than not, the answer is: “I don’t know,” or “I’m not sure.” The first phase of coaching then focuses on clarifying what the client wants so that he or she can begin to move forward with change. If you, too, are dissatisfied and having a hard time figuring out what you want, here are some coach’s tips to help you answer your big question. 1. Listen to yourself. Separating what you want from what you think you should want or what others want for...
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