Confessions of a Mid-Life Mama
Mid-Life Crisis — the phrase conjures up the image of a forty-something man who suddenly feels his life slipping away from him, wonders if this is all there is, and reacts by getting himself a flashy new sportscar, or a maybe a hot young girlfriend. There’s no corresponding paradigm for the female mid-life crisis. Most of us are just too darned busy managing our families and careers. But the experience of looking at one’s life and longing for something more is not limited to men. Some suggest that the typical female mid-life crisis is fundamentally different from the male...
Read MoreThe Four Bs of Balance
When my pals and I were in our twenties, I don’t remember worrying much about finding balance in our lives. We worked hard, played hard, stayed up late and damn the consequences. But now as a mid-career professionals, many of us with children, I find we are all talking about it, and I also hear it from my clients. We know that imbalance is inherently unstable and unsustainable, but it can be hard to envision a different way. So what is balance, and how can we achieve it? Stand on one foot and you’ll see that balance is not static. You wobble and waver. Even if you manage to stand...
Read MoreCultivating Gratitude
“Truly grateful people don’t make lists of things to be grateful for any more than happy people make lists of things to be happy about.” says Hank Deveraux in the epilogue to Richard Russo’s hilarious and poignant novel, Straight Man. And there’s a certain superficial, if cynical, appeal to his reasoning. People often make gratitude lists when they feel down, hoping that making the list will cheer them up. And many people keep gratitude journals in part because without the journal they feel in danger of losing sight of their blessings. Sounds rather forced, or...
Read MoreI’m a Triathlete (who’da thunk it? not me!)
Well, I did it! On Sunday I completed the Olympic distance Marin Triathlon. It was the culmination of weeks of training, and I felt great. I am still basking in the glow of accomplishment and I am already thinking about doing another triathlon and bettering my times. But I still find it amazing that I did it at all — I feel almost giddy about it. You see, I don’t think of myself as the kind of person who does triathlons. And yet, I did it. Beware thoughts and statements that begin “I’m not the kind of person who ….. ” They usually contain limiting beliefs...
Read MoreHappiness vs. Pleasure
I have a confession to make: I didn’t actually feel very good at the gym on Saturday. My triathlon training session — especially my somewhat labored running — was not pleasant. It didn’t actually hurt, but it was hard work for me. I thought of the blog I had posted just the evening before and felt a fraud for having blithely promised that I would be happy at the gym the next day. Would a passer-by think I looked happy? Probably not. Red-faced, perhaps even grimly determined … yes. But happy? Really? The answer was yes. Because happiness and pleasure are not...
Read MoreHappiness Beyond the Comfort Zone
In fifty-one days my husband Reece and I will be running, biking, and swimming the Marin Triathlon. There! I have set a specific, measurable, and actionable goal. Now that it is public, I am committed. So here’s a cool thing I have noticed: three weeks into my training, I already feel major benefits from having set a goal and begun to work for it. The first positive effect is that I enjoy sharing a goal with Reece. Although we are unable to train together, we give each other support and additional accountability, and we spur each other on. It is also fun to direct our shared energy...
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