Giving Feedback: 5 Elements of a More Inclusive Approach
This post first appeared on Forbes.com A client recently asked me to provide workshops to all employees on how to give and receive feedback. There is nothing unusual about that—I do it frequently. What was newer was the growing imperative to cultivate inclusive leadership in all aspects of organizational life, including traditional bread-and-butter management skills. Bringing an awareness of diversity, equity and inclusion (DEI) issues to the skill of giving and receiving feedback is critical to creating an inclusive workplace. And yet, so many people avoid the conversation. One of the...
Read MoreHow to Prepare for Critical Feedback
This post first appeared on Forbes.com “I’m totally terrified,” said a colleague. Was she skydiving or going for a big job interview? Nope. She was preparing to receive feedback—in this case from an interdisciplinary group of experts who were reviewing a draft of her book—and she was afraid of being pummeled by their critique, even though she was also excited for the opportunity. It felt a little like facing a firing squad. The fear of receiving criticism is not unique to her. Many of my clients enter their 360 feedback sessions with trepidation about what they will hear and how they will...
Read MorePhrasing Matters: How To Be A Constructive Critic
This post first appeared on Forbes.com Are you great at spotting the flaw in the plan? Do you default to criticism rather than appreciation? If so, you could be bringing down the motivation on your team or getting a reputation as a complainer, and it may be time for an intervention. You have valuable insights to offer and it’s important to offer them constructively. Negativity bias refers to our brain’s greater sensitivity to negative information than to positive. This trait is valuable because it helps us detect potential threats and correct problems. But, when not managed well in the...
Read MoreFeedback Is Not A Waste Of Time: What “The Feedback Fallacy” Got Wrong
This post first appeared on Forbes.com Is giving feedback a waste of time? You might think so if you read Marcus Buckingham and Ashley Goodall’s Harvard Business Review article “The Feedback Fallacy,” which purports to debunk much of our thinking about feedback. Buckingham (of the Strengths Finder fame) and Goodall argue that giving negative or “improvement” feedback is misguided, egotistical and counterproductive. But don’t despair: A careful reading of their article reveals that sensible, targeted feedback conversations are still essential to helping people improve and learn to work...
Read MoreGive Thanks for Feedback – how to receive feedback gracefully and constructively
In the world of management and leadership training, a lot of emphasis is put on teaching people to give effective feedback and very little attention is given to receiving feedback. Yet we know that a major reason that feedback conversations go sideways is the recipient’s response. Given the importance of feedback, we need more training on how to gracefully receive and learn from feedback, even when it is not skillfully given. The starting place is gratitude. Repeat after me: “Feedback is a gift.” Really. You need feedback to grow and learn. Even the most self-aware people...
Read MoreFeedback – 8 Tips to Get People to Tell You What You Need to Hear
Many leaders report that when they ask for feedback, they get very little in response. It’s not because they’re perfect. More than likely, people are afraid that they won’t react well to the truth. What to do about that? You need to make it a safe and positive experience for the other person. Here’s how: Be curious. Before you start the conversation, cultivate a learning mindset. You want to get better. You can only improve if you understand what you are doing and not doing that is getting in your way or causing people pain. Ground yourself in curiosity and the desire to improve. Ask...
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