- Scaling Up – How Our Hidden Immune System Makes It Hard to Change Old Habits“What got you here, won’t get you there.” Many a new leader or manager has heard this truism coined by Marshall Goldsmith and have understood it to mean that they will need to up their game and change their approach if they want to succeed as leaders. They are advised to “be more strategic and less ...
- Feedback – 8 Tips to Get People to Tell You What You Need to HearMany leaders report that when they ask for feedback, they get very little in response. It’s not because they’re perfect. More than likely, people are afraid that they won’t react well to the truth. What to do about that? You need to make it a safe and positive experience for the other person. Here’s how: Be ...
Chronic Stress? Three Steps To Complete The Stress Response Cycle And Increase Health And Wellness
This post first appeared on Forbes. Life is full of stress. Traffic, deadlines, interviews, conflict, financial pressure, the news, politics…the list goes on. Many of us are so accustomed to stress that it feels like a constant state. This is because we can get into a never-ending stress cycle that feeds on itself. In their recent book, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, authors and sisters Ameila and Emily Nagoski suggest that we can break the vicious cycle of stress by completing the “stress response cycle” that...
read moreMoving Beyond Likability: 5 Principles For Women Leaders That Men Can Learn From Too
This post first appeared on Forbes. Everywhere you look, women are rocking it. This year saw a dramatic rise in the number of women CEOs in the Fortune 500, from 24 (4.8%) in 2018 to 33 (6.6%) in 2019—still low but improving. Young women have some very impressive entrepreneurial role models, as documented in Diana Kapp’s recent book, Girls Who Run The World: 31 CEOs Who Mean Business. There are a record number of women in Congress, and we saw four women candidates participate in the latest Democratic presidential debate. We also witnessed...
read moreManaging Up With Authenticity: Tips To Get The Most From Your Boss
Originally published on Forbes. “When I was moved to my current manager, I wanted to make a good impression. I figured out early on that she liked to talk about herself, so I usually start our one-on-ones with a question and just let her talk. When I do bring an issue to her, I always have a solution.” Sarah, a director in a tech company, thought she was managing up. But Sarah has been so focused on keeping her boss happy that she has not communicated her own aspirations and struggles. Afraid to show any weakness, she’s sacrificed...
read moreDealing With Difficult Clients: 7 Approaches To Transform Challenging Client Relationships
This post first appeared on Forbes.com If you’re in a client service business (lawyer, consultant or in-house services), you’ve met them: difficult clients. These clients are demanding. They may be anxious and need a lot of hand-holding. Or they habitually lob in urgent requests at the last minute. Some nit-pick your work. Some are rude or behave badly. Others try to micromanage you or are very hard to please. You see them as “difficult” because they demand special attention or effort and they often make your life harder. In extreme...
read moreHow To Manage Workflow For Pressure-Prompted Procrastinators
This post first appeared on Forbes.com Confession: I don’t always practice what I preach. As a coach, I work with my clients to build habits that will support them in achieving their goals. Our approach typically involves creating structures that promote steady effort and accountability. Clients practice mindfulness to learn how to self-manage their emotions; leaders schedule a weekly “meeting with myself” for planning and prioritization; some create spreadsheets for tracking networking targets and follow-up; others write in gratitude...
read moreDon’t Be So Sure: The Perils of Certainty
This post first appeared on Forbes.com. I was certain that my flight to Chicago was at 10:30, so I aimed to leave for the airport by 9:00. But at 8:30 when I checked to verify the exact takeoff time, my chest seized up. My flight was leaving in less than an hour! I yelled for my husband to take me to the airport now. By the time I made it through security, the boarding gate had closed. I watched my flight take off without me. Maybe something like this has happened to you. You felt so utterly sure of something that you did not...
read moreWhen Should You Take No For an Answer?
This post first appeared on Forbes.com The consequences of overwork are evident in my coaching practice. In startups, established companies and nonprofits I see teams in a constant state of fire-fighting and leaders who are unable to prioritize, where the quality of work is suffering, individuals are experiencing stress and anxiety, and valuable people are burning out. In a previous post, I wrote about building the “no” muscle—learning to say “no” to certain activities in service of being able to say “yes” to the right things....
read moreHow to Prepare for Critical Feedback
This post first appeared on Forbes.com “I’m totally terrified,” said a colleague. Was she skydiving or going for a big job interview? Nope. She was preparing to receive feedback—in this case from an interdisciplinary group of experts who were reviewing a draft of her book—and she was afraid of being pummeled by their critique, even though she was also excited for the opportunity. It felt a little like facing a firing squad. The fear of receiving criticism is not unique to her. Many of my clients enter their 360 feedback sessions with...
read moreWant to Make a Difference? Focus on Contribution, Not Impact
This post first appeared on Forbes.com I nominate “impact” as one of the most annoying and potentially harmful buzzwords in business today. Countless clients tell me they want to make an impact. Whether they are leaders in growing startups or tech giants, Millennials seeking meaning or mid-career professionals pursuing their next big job, they define success as having this thing they call “impact.” But what is it really about? Impact is defined as the striking of one object into another, a collision. This kind of impact is...
read moreOverworked? A People Pleaser’s Guide to Saying No
This post first appeared on Forbes.com “I have more work than I can possibly do, my team is stretched to the breaking point, and the requests keep coming,” said an executive coaching client in a large tech company, her eyes welling with tears. She was not the only one to whom I gave a tissue this week. Overwork is widespread in the U.S., and research indicates that it is bad for people’s health and productivity. An excessive workload can be caused by many different factors—a demanding organizational culture, poor...
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