In Praise of Partnership*
I’m not sure when “partner” became a verb, and truth be told, my inner lexicographer probably winced the first few times I heard it. But now I have adopted it whole-heartedly. So much so that today I partnered with a terrific coach and consultant, Leigh Marz, to interview for an exciting consulting project involving three non-profit entities that are — you guessed it — partnering in service of a shared mission. Partnership offers so much more than going it alone. For Leigh and me, partnering provides complementarity of skills and experience. Our...
Read MoreWhat’s on Your Nightstand?
Further confirmation that I have found the right profession — my bedside reading. Lately, my reading habits have changed. I have always been an avid reader of fiction. From Narnia and Tolkien in grade school, to romance novels in my teens, to literary fiction (with a healthy dose of “chick-lit” and all the Harry Potter books) in my adult life, I have always loved plot and character and make-believe. Nearly everything else was a slog. And when I was a lawyer, you would never catch me reading a law-related book in my spare time. So imagine my surprise when I began to...
Read MoreFour Steps to Avoiding Terminal Vagueness
According to debtor’s anonymous, many people who repeatedly incur unsecured debt experience so-called “terminal vagueness” – a lack of awareness or monitoring of their finances. But you don’t have to be ready for a Twelve-Step program to be prone to this condition. Here are four steps to getting out of the terminal vagueness that besets those stuck in dissatisfaction. First, get clear about where you are now. Dissatisfaction can be diffuse and tricky to pin down, but if you divide your life into different areas (see the wheel of life assessments), you will be better able...
Read MoreCoaching & Therapy
People often ask me what is the difference between coaching and therapy. Much is made of the differences, usually by one side seeking to disparage the other side. Therapists claim that coaching – which is three decades old and largely unregulated – lacks the rigor and substance of psychotherapy and is little better than snake oil. Meanwhile, coaches argue that therapy is backward-looking, inefficient, and pathologizing. But these self-serving critiques do neither side justice. Both disciplines have their place in helping people to lead happier, more fulfilling lives. Choosing one (or...
Read MoreShowing Up
Woody Allen famously said that “eighty percent of success is showing up.” But sometimes showing up is more than eighty percent – it’s the whole ball game. This past week tragedy struck my husband’s family when his younger cousin James died suddenly, devastating his wife and two children, mother and sister. He was irreplaceable and his absence will be with them forever. Friends and relatives rallied around the grieving family, bringing meals, caring for the kids, and assisting with funeral arrangements. My husband cut his trip to France short so that he could attend the...
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