Express Your Own Fun

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You can choose what you do, but you can’t choose what you like to do. And since leisure time is limited, beware of forcing yourself to do something because you think you SHOULD enjoy it.

Much as I am embarrassed to admit it, I really like Madonna. I admire Beethoven, enjoy Bach, and have been transported by Mozart’s Great Mass in C Minor. But when it comes to giving my spirits a boost, gimme Madonna or Michael Jackson and I’ll find myself dancing and singing — happy chemicals whizzing about my body.

Friday afternoon, with the three kids in the mini-van (yes, we have one, and I am inordinately fond of it), I put on Express Yourself.” This totally poppy, upbeat tune made all of us happy. The kids watched me dancing with an abandon that I don’t often exhibit, and I could tell it pleased them enormously to see me being so free. We were grinning and dancing and having fun. I don’t know if they’ll remember it years from now, but I know I will.

I hear from many of clients that they don’t have much fun in their lives. There are no doubt lots of causes for this, not the least of which is a multiplicity of adult responsibilities. But I’ve a hunch that part of it stems having let themselves get cut off from what they truly find fun. So for just a moment, forget about what you think you should find fun — Ibsen, Wagner, whatever — and think about what lifts your spirits. What did you love to do when you were a teenager? Chances are you still would find fun there.

So get out one of your old party tapes and dance!

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